Perimenopause Panic is Real—Let’s Talk About It

Perimenopause: the part of womanhood no one warned us about.

It’s the hormonal twilight zone where everything starts shifting—our cycles (and lucky me, I don’t have one since I have an IUD but that’s coming out SOON!), our moods, our energy, our nervous systems. And yet, so few are talking about it.

This season of life can make you question everything: Am I losing it? Is this just stress? Why do things that never used to bother me suddenly feel like too much?

Here’s the truth: You’re not crazy. You’re not too sensitive. You’re not failing.
You’re in a powerful transition—one that affects everything from your brain chemistry to your body’s ability to regulate emotions. And it’s not all in your head.

I didn’t understand this until I found myself in the thick of it — smiling on the outside, but unraveling underneath.

Here’s a vulnerable share about one of the hardest parts of that storm: a panic attack that reminded me just how much grace, care, and self-compassion this phase of life demands.

You see the smile, not the storm. Anxiety doesn’t always look like panic—it often hides behind what looks like perfection.

Anxiety Attacks, Vulnerable share ahead…

I never understood them until I had one. Thankfully, I’ve only had a handful, but through them, here’s my story and what I’ve learned.

For me, having a TBI (traumatic brain injury) in July 2018 is the root cause. My nervous system got rewired in ways I’m still learning about.

Things that trigger anxiety attacks for me:
HUGE TIP: know what triggers yours

• Excess caffeine — especially Bulletproof Coffee (sorry, Dave Asprey, I’m fragile now).

• Sudden surprises from behind — if you’ve ever noticed, I always sit with my back to the wall, preferably in a corner like I’m in a Mob movie.

• Being around uncontrollably drunk people (instant nope!).

• People Yelling.

• Loud music, especially heavy metal or rap.

My most recent anxiety attack was the worst I’ve ever experienced…
Triggered by loud music (I never want to hear Dr. Dre’s California Love again — no shade, Dre), I thought I could “face it head-on.” So I leaned in, tried to dance through the discomfort, convince myself I was fine. But within minutes…

My ears were ringing, then burning. I thought my eardrums might’ve burst. Shortness of breath kicked in. Then the chest pain.
Shaking.
Crying.
Nausea.
Burning Hot.

It felt like my body was sounding every alarm at once.

Afterward? That’s a whole other beast. It took over 30 minutes just to regulate my breathing and stop the shaking. Then I passed out — my body just shut down from the exhaustion.

And THEN comes what I call the attack hangover — hours and even days of fatigue, fogginess, and feeling like you ran a marathon in emotional quicksand. Because your body just dumped a huge wave of adrenaline into your system. It’s not “nothing.” It’s chemistry. It’s biology. It’s real.

The thing is, I thought I had healed. I thought I was “past” this. But healing doesn’t always mean triggers disappear. Sometimes, it just means learning to ride the wave differently.

I’m learning I can’t always control the things that trigger me — but I can control how I respond, how I care for myself through it, and how I communicate my needs.

For those who struggle with anxiety: I see you, because I am you.
You are not broken.
You are not crazy.
You are not weak.
You’re a human whose nervous system has been through some stuff.

You’re not sick — your body just experienced a jolt of adrenaline it wasn’t prepared for. That’s all. It doesn’t define you.

I’ll never claim to be perfect. I’m still navigating, still learning, still healing.

But if nothing else, I hope this helps someone feel less alone, to give you permission to do your own version of healing.

And if you see me at a party quietly finding a corner with herbal tea while everyone else is turning up to Snoop and Dre… now you know why. 💛

3 ways I calm down after a panic attack (and maybe you can too):

1. Breathe like you're blowing out birthday candles… very slowly.
   Inhale for 4, exhale for 6. Repeat until your body gets the memo that it’s safe. Bonus: pretend each exhale is blowing away someone’s bad vibes.

2. Get cozy — full burrito mode.
   Blanket, hoodie, couch and fetal position. The goal is “soft human marshmallow.” Your nervous system needs a hug, and sometimes a good swaddle does the trick.

3. Say nice things… to yourself.
   “I am safe.” “This will pass.” “I’ve survived 100% of my panic attacks so far.”
   Speak to yourself like you would to your bestie who just cried in the Target parking lot — gentle, loving, and maybe with snacks.

So if you’re walking through the wild terrain of perimenopause, anxiety, or anything in between—know this:

You’re not alone. You’re not broken.
You’re becoming.
And even on the messy days… that’s still sacred work.

With much love, Brigitte 💛